Ok so it’s time to go off on a tangant here, and talk about something random. Lets admit it, we have all watched porn at some point in our lives, and as a male, I can admint to random porn watching occasions. I can’t think of one time that I have come across a porn clip that didn’t make me laugh. But lets think seriously now, porn does teach us a lot about life and relationships!
1. Asian Men Do Not Exist
2. When a man climaxes, It is usually followed with loud grunting and yelling
3. Women always wear shoes in bed / during sex
4. Missionary Sex doesn’t exist
5. Contrary to popular believe, teachers and school girls get the most sex
6. Women will not get angry if a man “finishes” on her body/face
7. Lawyers, Engineers, and Musicians never get sex, only construction workers, repairmen, and doctors do
8. No matter how many men are in a room together naked, as long as one female is in the room, no matter how unattractive, it is not gay
9. Foreigners can be tricked into sex, anytime, any place, anywhere
10. Your maid is probably a slut
11. Public sexual activities are not arrestable offenses
12. No matter how severely injured you are, if you are male then you have a 98% chance of recieving oral sex from the nurse
13. Women would prefer not to hear “i love you” during sex, but instead profane demeaning words make them enjoy the encounter far more
14. If you are having sex, someone is probably watching
15. If you are caught having sex with your gf’s friend, she will punish you by forcing you to have a threesome
16. Condoms are not necessary, and pre-mature ejaculation is just a myth
17. Women are actually never too tired to have sex, someone made that story up
18. Beds are the worst place to have sex in
19. Every woman owns a sex toy
20. If your friend owns a webcam, shes naked and on the internet
21. Every woman has a clean butt
22. Quiet sex is out of style, women can’t help but be loud
23. Physical harm through sex is encouraged
You forgot one thing: animals. Any woman, at any given time, will give in to having sex with a horse at some point. It’s the circle of life.